I have always gravitated to health, spirituality and just overall wellness. For many years I dabbled in yoga, meditation and exercise but not consistently. Not until early 2021 when I felt a shift that completely changed my life.
About 2 years ago, I was sitting in my office working on the next project. While sitting in front of my computer, I caught myself sitting there looking at the screen completely uninspired. The sensation of pure boredom and disenchantment with corporate life absorbed my body. So I thought to myself, “maybe I just need a break”. I decided to go through my phone and look for a new book on audible. Audible was always a great idea due to my long commutes to and from the office.
While searching, I was looking for something inspiring. Something that helped me gain knowledge and brought me a sense of peace. Through the search, a book stood out to me, and I downloaded it. That was the start of my life changing adventure.
The book was The Surrender experiment by Michael Singer. I started listening to it during my commute. I connected with the book immediately. It resonated profoundly. The books’ purpose is to teach you to trust life and let go. This served me plenty as I was searching to have a more harmonious life yet thrived with control and perfection as my goal. But I knew that those traits also lead to stress and unhappiness. The book teaches how our minds set our limitations. We as individuals should be more conscious of our decisions and behaviors. By doing that, you learn how your behaviors and beliefs are conditioned and not necessarily real. I connected with the book in such depth that my inconsistent meditation turned into a daily practice.
Through consistent meditation, I dissected every part of my life. I questioned the most important question; Why was I not satisfied when everything I had worked so hard for was achieved? I was missing something that was not quantifiable. I was not enjoying my accomplishments, my blessings. Then I realized, I was living from a place of lack, fear and ego. Living on the next “accomplishment” to provide that temporary high. I wasn’t living through my heart. I was living through fear, insecurity and societal expectations.
After a year and a half of contemplation, intense meditation, letting go and trusting in life/God/Universe. I decided to resign from my lucrative position as a hospital administrator. I was terrified but excited at the same time. I felt strong with my decision. My heart was no longer in my role. Each day waking up to go to work was dreadful. At this point, I knew I was making the right decision even though I had no idea where my life would take me. I began to follow what made my heart happy. Meditation, yoga, philosophical wisdom/faith and helping others. Through time, I realized that life was putting me back to what I was truly meant to do in this life.
I had originally gotten my undergraduate degree in Psychology and my graduate degree in Mental Health Therapy. After 2 years of practice, I moved away from the profession due to unfortunate life circumstances. Yet, the original desire of helping others through difficult times was once again enlightened. I realized all this change was my soul screaming to come out from my ego’s cage. It nudged and pushed to get my attention and by way of the book, I finally listened. Now, I am back to in mental health with a slightly different mindset. Incorporating my graduate studies of psychological traditional therapies but also incorporating all aspects of the self. The mind, body and spirit. Seeing the individual as a complete system not compartments. Potentially through these modalities, others can feel the same inner peace I have achieved.
I see myself now and I don’t recognize myself. The internal happiness I have would not have been achieved if I had continued to live in fear of the unknown. Life truly has a purpose for everyone. Our unhappiness comes from not listening to your true self. Take the time to pause and analyze what your heart truly desires. When you do, your life will be an amazing bliss of complete internal peace.